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I found that whatever you want in life, whether it is to be in a committed relationship, increase what is in your bank account, the way you feel about your career, and your health, begins with assessing what is true.


My friend once shared the quote, “you can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame” and this couldn’t be more true.

Assessment requires an outsider’s observation who is honest and skilled in providing an effective plan to help you get what you want.

If there is something you want to have in your life right now, here are my suggestions on how to gain momentum towards getting what you want:

1.Get Clear

To save you time, possibly even your money, the first thing you should do is get crystal clear on what you want.

Any skilled evaluator is going to ask something along the line of, “What is your goal?”  If you don’t know, some of your time/money will be helping you get through this process alone, so it’s much better to be prepared by identifying exactly what you want beforehand.

At the very least, your evaluator may work with you on fine tuning your goals, but at least it won’t take up much of your time – leaving you guys to get down to the nitty-gritty.

You can also start by reading The 12 Week Year to help you with hitting your goals; because this books has you breakdown your goals, it will also help you to get more clear on what you want.

2.Can I just ask my friends?

It is true, you can always go to friends or family; however, you must proceed with caution.  This is not to say their opinions don’t matter, but often friends and family have your back no matter what so in their minds you can do no wrong.

Keep in mind…

if you’re not getting what you want – something is wrong.

Friends/Family are there to lift you higher and for unconditional support no doubt, but if you go to a friend, ask the friend who is not afraid to tell you the truth.  They may not have the plan, and that’s ok, but at least you’re on your way to identifying, what could be, a root problem.

For instance, it was about three years ago I approached one of my girlfriends (who I knew would tell me the truth) and asked her,

“Are you afraid I’ll be alone for the rest of my life?”

She said, “honestly, yes.”

I asked, “why?”

…and she told me it was because I couldn’t learn to trust anyone.

The years prior I met people with preconceived notions that they were “liars” or “bad” and in turn, I thought, “why should I care about them, they’re just liars anyway.”

Without an honest opinion, I would have never realized my horrible philosophy about men and relationships.  The truth forced me to become aware of what I was doing and to ask deeper questions of myself.

Of course, this was not all I had to do, but being honest with myself was the 1st place to start when I was on my “path” to finding a committed partner and a joyful relationship.

3.Who to go to

In my opinion, it is best to assess your current situation with an advisor, counselor, coach, or mentor for their opinion and feedback.  In some cases, you might have to pay for their services, but it is ultimately an investment in your happiness.

If you’re a college student, there are most likely free resources available to you on your campus.  A good place to start is by asking your professor what services are available to help you reach your goal.

Remember how I shared with you about asking my friend her opinion about my relationship status?  Well, when I wanted to “up” my game, I purchased coaching from Tony Robbins, and that is was what ultimately helped me achieve my relationship goals.

In short, when getting what you want, assessment of current circumstances need to be completed before going after what you want.  You can only go so far with doing things yourself, and at some point, you will need guidance and there is no shame in that.

If you interested in more information on how to assess the truth, and getting what you want, be sure to subscribe to my email list!

Cheers to growth!



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